[Featured above: Glee Clearly Now Sunglasses available at ModCloth, $12.]
First we discussed how leggings are not pants. And then I explained how hairspray isn’t perfume and Joan Crawford eye brows don’t belong on a man. But now, it’s time to reveal how sunglasses are not a headband (and other musings from a Las Vegas fashion blogger).
Sunglasses are not a headband.
We’ve all done it. You’ve forgotten that your sunglasses are on your face and you need a place to stash them quick. So, you stick them on the top of your head, because you’re just running in and out of the liquor store to buy a couple of cases of vodka. And for some reason, placing your sunglasses in the case inside your zipped up handbag seems like it will take too much effort and time. What do you do? You slide them onto the crown of your head. Badda-bing, badda-boom. Done!
If you wear your sunglasses on your head for a mere 15 minutes or so, it’s no big deal. But if you keep sunglasses on your head because you need a headband, well, that’s not okay! Sunglasses are not a headband. A headband is a headband. And there are a lot of cute ones out there. Quit being a dork, and buy some.
Just because it’s on sale doesn’t mean you should buy it.
Look, no one loves sales more than I do. Trust me. But just because something is on sale, doesn’t mean you should spend your money on it. The other day, I found a gorgeous Zac Posen dress for only $30 at a vintage/thrift store. But it was a size 6. I’m a size 10. I could have done the old “I can wear this when I lose weight” routine. But I haven’t pulled that bullshit on myself in 20 years and I’m not about to start now. I’d love to be a size 6, but it’s not happening. So why torture myself with a gorgeous designer bargain in my closet that I’m never going to get to wear? I can’t. And neither should you.
A bargain is only a true bargain if you actually wear it. If it’s ugly, too big, too small, or just simply doesn’t fit right and it’s on sale, WALK AWAY! Don’t be a sucker for a sale price tag. Instead, be an expert collector of great bargain fashion.
Just because it’s apparel doesn’t mean it’s fashion.
Having experience in the retail world, I understand categories. Not all clothes fall under the category of fashion – neither do all shoes nor all handbags. Some apparel fall under the category lifestyle. Better yet, other apparel fall under the category novelty. I shuddered the other day when a friend of mine (obviously a jokester) posted this on Facebook.
Hypercolor shirts are apparel, yes. But that doesn’t make them fashion. Here’s an easy rule: if you can buy it at Spencer’s, it’s definitely not fashion.